A very nice day

So i am sitting on my balcony and writing this while i watch the stars...

Sometimes... Somedays are just plain boring... You can intrusive moments where you feel someone is budding into your personal space by nosing about your business... Somedays you feel like your feeling just for crushed like a bubble wrap... There are some special days when you see that someone smile and you hurt just feels so warm, nice and mushy... Someday you just want to fucking kill someday.. Well today i didn't feel anything.. Which is not shocking as i am apathetic most of the time and i sense no pain, and i am like a freaking robot... But today it wasn't the part that i didn't feel anything that shocked me! It was the EMPTY part.. The part where... I don't know... I hope i ain't the only alien feeling these "mars" like feelings.. But how do people cope with it? How do people change these feelings? How do people feel better the next day after having a "begining of the end" day the day before? How! HOW! HOW! I just don't know!!

I can't help but wonder... How come my friend's have feelings that i don't have... I've had friends calling me up crying to talk to me! I've had friends who talk to me about break ups and family problems and feel sad about it! I wonder how it feels to have those emotions sometimes.. Clinically, nothing is wrong with me as i have set in psych class and i have read and done tests to know that i am HUMAN after all.. But sometimes i amaze myself. :) When i do have interest in something or someone, i will show it a lil bit more clearly. I am like one of those kids you will come across in kindergarden, when i like someone i will punch them on their shoulder and go "i think i like you!" but i might just mean it after all! Owh well, every cloud has it's shape.. Maybe i haven't found mine yet... Are we doing this right? Are we doing life the right way? AM I DOING IT RIGHT? I just know that i am doing it... I don't know right... I don't know wrong... i am just doing life... Like every one of us... I don't know how some people have found the purpose and faith to become something or someone... I don't know how some people think that they have a higher purpose... I wish i knew how.. But i am still discovering mine i guess. ANYWAY... that aside... Days go by... Till september will come.. Maybe i will start feeling more! MAYBE and the pigs can fly and the world will have peace! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA